Looking for Love? or Lust?

5 Signs You might be Looking for Lust. . .

1. You’re out shopping for a really immodest outfit

I remember this one guy had such a sultry voice that I even joked to a friend about wearing 10 pairs of underwear on our first date. I spent half an hour after talking to him running up and down the stairs blasting Mormon Tabernacle Choir Hymns. Don’t decide to leave the house without dressing the part of a good woman. Good men appreciate modesty.

2. You say things like, “I don’t care if he’s religious”

  I’m not buying it. I thought you wanted out of your past marriage because he didn’t come to church, he wouldn’t be faithful to covenants and because he didn’t care about the standards you valued. Shared religious values are important to a successful relationship. If you make decisions spiritually, having someone who understands that motive is key.

3. You don’t post how many kids you have on your dating profile

So, you just want to meet him once and then tell them more about yourself. Everybody likes surprises, right? Though this may seem easier than creating the online dating “Family Billboard”,  it’s not honest.  It will open the door to additional dishonest options and you could end up way over your head as the relationship progresses. If you are really looking for someone to start a great relationship with then be real. You can have a great conversation with the right guy introducing him to more about your life, but give it a real and honest start.

4. Your first date is a movie in his basement theater

So you’re both into movies? Start your dating adventure with dinner to discuss the movies you like. Your favorites, your least favorites, the ones you’re most excited to see in the upcoming months. Basement dating is dangerous. If he or you are pushing for this kind of time with someone, you’re not looking for love, you’re looking for lust.

5.  You spend hours sending him pictures of yourself

Selfies are so cute these days but sending him a bunch of pictures of you making alluring faces and striking immodest poses is going to lead you both in the lust direction.  A guy once sent me a picture of himself all naked reflected in the bathroom mirror, and he wanted feedback. I deleted and reported him to the dating site admin. Know what a guy asks of you, he’s asking of others. Give a guy the chance to get to know you in person. If it’s not serious, and you’re feeling threatened by him dating other women, there’s better ways to get his attention than endless cell phone picture alerts. What kind of attention are you looking for? His admiration and love? or just to keep him turned on all day.  Think about it. . . that could be problematic if he’s got a date at 7 with someone else. Good women support men to be good too.

Consider this last little tidbit. . . People looking for love, love themselves. You can’t expect the love of someone else to fill your emptiness.

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